aerimido for peach aka midos perpetual doki hell

[discarding]

just gonna use this as a gen catchall, will hopefully gather up and link all prior TL in this entry

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it's all good ♥

[bloomly]

( she knows as soon as she feels his touch that she doesn't deserve it--he should be resting, tucked beneath the worn blanket on the hospital bed, sterile and clean; she shouldn't be here anymore, shouldn't be taking up time and space and energy like this, when the most important thing is that he stays here and actually rests. in many ways, her presence is counterintuitive to what she wants him to do, and as much as she's almost afraid to leave this place, afraid that she'll come back and he won't be there anymore: it feels like it would be a greater kindness to get up and announce her departure.

so why can't she? his fingers feel cold, scratched and rough against her skin, but she doesn't care at all. the tears smear down over her lashes, wet against the skin of her cheek, and she almost apologies for how they must be touching them; if he can barely handle her presence on a good day, or handle the way she touches him all the time, how can he handle something like this? it's gross. probably gross. her head shakes, slightly, and a bit of her hair, wavy from the braids, touches his hand; her lips feel dry, licking over them to try to steady her voice. )

You're all I have. ( this is said very delicately--almost like she doesn't want to burden him with the truth of it. ) Of course I'm going to cry for you...Dummy.

( with a faint shake of her head, she reaches up: even though she can't stop crying, she knows precisely what she needs to do, and at least having that sort of clarity helps fuel her movements. both of her hands lift, damp, to touch at his hand, holding it carefully between her palms as she stands up, stiff, from the chair. slowly approaching the bed, she bends his arm in gently until she can lay it back down on the bed next to him; there, she gives it a faint squeeze before letting it go entirely. )

I know you're...exhausted. I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to...( a little hiccuping breath: determined, she swallows it down, steadies herself on her heels, her watery gaze focused on the bedspread and not, in fact, his face or any part of him. ) I'm sorry. Would it...

( licking her lips again, she brings her hands up swiftly wiping the tears off her cheeks--before she finally steels herself to look at him, gathering up the remains of her shattered confidence to bolster herself enough to ask. )

Can I stay here until you...wake up again? In...Over there. ( a faint tilt of her head to indicate she means the chair she'd been seated in: for now, she stands stiffly at the side of his bed. ) If I go...back, then I'll just...worry. About you.