"I'm sure I am." Ishigaki laughs faintly, unfazed at his taunts- far passed the point of the word 'gross' having any real effect.
He let's a bit of silence fall between them as he thinks of an answer, spaced out after noticing how tight he has to walk to keep up with Midousuji's long strides- mentally comparing his limbs to a grasshopper. "Well..."
And then, a much more serious though occurs: a memory resurfacing of Midousuji unzipping his jersey with his back turned to Ishigaki, hunched over on their clubrooms bench, revealing an overwhelming amount of sports tape tightly wrapped around himself. He remembers how his voice couldn't reach him, how the reality of how severely warped his perception of victory hit that day, and the way Ishigaki's heart sank to his stomach for him.
'Living creatures need more awful conditions.' Is what Midousuji preached to himself that day.
There's wanting victory, Ishigaki knows the importance of the finish line that means so terribly much, but then there's... self harm. And that's only one of many revealing flashbacks that could answer Midousuji's question. That type of thinking is from someone who depends on themselves. No one can do that, and Midousuji has come to realize that much, at the very least. But is Midousuji that unware of why Ishigaki wished for him to connect to others, even now?
"I don't think only being happy when you win counts." Ishigaki finally speaks up, eyes fallen to his shoes as if he's unable to face his own bluntness. "So no, I don't think were happy."
Despite his self improvement, Ishigaki comes to wonder if Midousuji was further away from his intentions than he had thought.
"But now? I guess I can't answer that question." Perhaps he's not poisoning himself over achieving results now- but Ishigaki doesn't know that for certain. Midousuji has been left unsupervised this past year, and with no one he knows to keep Ishigaki updated on that. "Do you think you're happy?"
tfw im LITERALLY? so blown away by how beautiful ur tag is that i dont respond for almost 2 weeks
He let's a bit of silence fall between them as he thinks of an answer, spaced out after noticing how tight he has to walk to keep up with Midousuji's long strides- mentally comparing his limbs to a grasshopper. "Well..."
And then, a much more serious though occurs: a memory resurfacing of Midousuji unzipping his jersey with his back turned to Ishigaki, hunched over on their clubrooms bench, revealing an overwhelming amount of sports tape tightly wrapped around himself. He remembers how his voice couldn't reach him, how the reality of how severely warped his perception of victory hit that day, and the way Ishigaki's heart sank to his stomach for him.
'Living creatures need more awful conditions.' Is what Midousuji preached to himself that day.
There's wanting victory, Ishigaki knows the importance of the finish line that means so terribly much, but then there's... self harm. And that's only one of many revealing flashbacks that could answer Midousuji's question. That type of thinking is from someone who depends on themselves. No one can do that, and Midousuji has come to realize that much, at the very least. But is Midousuji that unware of why Ishigaki wished for him to connect to others, even now?
"I don't think only being happy when you win counts." Ishigaki finally speaks up, eyes fallen to his shoes as if he's unable to face his own bluntness. "So no, I don't think were happy."
Despite his self improvement, Ishigaki comes to wonder if Midousuji was further away from his intentions than he had thought.
"But now? I guess I can't answer that question." Perhaps he's not poisoning himself over achieving results now- but Ishigaki doesn't know that for certain. Midousuji has been left unsupervised this past year, and with no one he knows to keep Ishigaki updated on that. "Do you think you're happy?"